


Petrichor

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Sex, Hurt/Comfort in the form of brutal resignation, Mention of Character Death, Old Writing/Repost, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-08-11 10:28:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7887694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're just people, as dirty and base as all the others.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Petrichor

**Author's Note:**

> this is old as fuck, like i'm talking several years old. hopefully it isn't too awful. i was cleaning out my google docs and thought it wasnt horrible.

_ Do the two of you have any human emotions at all? _

The soldier’s words resounded throughout the Commander’s mind, as he stalked away. A brief glance over his shoulder, and he could see Levi following behind him. There was something different in his expression, something profoundly painful. He was afraid that Levi would keep it in, locked away behind his collected and caustic front. The worst part about it was that there was nothing Erwin could do. To blame him would be hypocritical.

.

.

The sky had opened up into an angry roiling of threateningly grey storm clouds quite some time before the troops returned to the headquarters. The remnants of the Scouting Legion dispersed, many heading to the sickbay, or to collapse in their own quarters. The cramped, rigid beds never looked more like heaven to their fatigue-stricken minds and rain-soaked bodies.

Levi took his time in unsaddling his steed, every once in a while spying Erwin leaning against the side of the stable door, lingering in wait for his Corporal. Drops of rain pelted that broad form relentlessly, but it didn’t matter. They were already thoroughly soaked—to their weary, creaking bones, and to their dripping, despondent souls.

_ We should be used to such failure, by now. _

Levi turned to the other, in a sudden decision to cease his stalling.

"Commander. Do you plan to stand there all night in the rain?" The words came out far more acrimoniously than he had intended, and so he strode over, leaning opposite the blonde man.

_ You could catch a cold, and I’ll be damned if you die of something idiotic like that. The only one who is allowed to kill you is me, old man. _

The Commander sighed in the same moment his fingers moved to slide through those cropped raven locks that clung wetly to Levi’s brow and temples.

_ “ _ Levi, I-“

"Don’t say it. I don’t want to think about them right now." For the first time in the million he had thought of it, the images of his slaughtered squad did not flash through his mind. He had already succeeded in burning them into his memory forever and then stashing them deep within, where hopefully no words would ever conjure them again.

It was better this way. It was a healthy way of coping. People supposed that the Corporal had so much pent-up anger, frustration, and sadness, that he would burst at any moment; but it wasn’t like that. Not completely. He had only mastered the art of  _ getting over it,  _ of soldiering on despite each and every splinter of painful memory that marred him. He would remain clear, alert, and focused; he would devote himself to making Erwin’s vision of the world a reality--and if they succeeded in driving out the titans, he would not have to mourn the loss of so many lives, of his squad, because he would remember that victory meant that they did not die in vain.

Levi’s eyes fluttered closed at the calloused thumb stroking along his cheek, and he sank further against the wooden foundation that trembled from the force of the growing storm. 

Suddenly, Levi felt Erwin’s breath hot against his neck, and inhaled sharply through his nose, as a shudder raced down his body. Inner musings were cut short by the low-spoken promise of  _ 'I'm here for you'  _ which resonated against the whorl of the Corporal’s ear. 

_ I believe you. _

Levi’s stormy grey eyes cut instantly up to Erwin’s, that chilling blue the only color in a world that seemed increasingly monotone, and the fleeting interstice of their bodies quickly becoming nonexistent. The Corporal felt himself dragged upwards and pinned against the wood, Erwin’s hands on him as their mouths meshed together in a messy, frantic kiss that was more tongue and teeth and raw emotion than anything. The storm seemed somehow in tune with their emotions, the wind picking up and thunder rolling not too far in the distance. 

"They wouldn’t have said that." Levi whispered harshly, before moving to reclaim Erwin’s lips and wrap his legs around the man’s waist. The Commander stopped, holding the darker haired man with a firm grip on his thighs, and looked to Levi in confusion.

"What?" was the grating inquiry that followed the expression, before he dipped his head once more and continued to ravish the Corporal’s exposed neck.

"If they knew you, they wouldn’t have questioned you. You’re a fucking sap." Levi’s words managed to tumble from over his tongue along with a short, staggered moan as his breath hitched at the feeling of Erwin’s tongue against his neck.

The Commander said nothing as he felt Levi’s lithe fingers grip a handful of his drenched blonde hair, and shove their lips together once more. They remained like this for a long while, rain spilling down their cheeks and obscuring their vision, so that they couldn’t have seen one another lucidly, if they had bothered to try. The scent of damp earth would have filled their senses if their senses had not already been filled with the white-hot avidity that surged through their veins like the lightning that split the skies above them. Erwin let out a gasp as Levi suddenly wrenched his head back by the grip he had on his blond hair. Taking a moment to catch his breath, Levi wiped the saliva and rain from his face with his already-soaked sleeve, before the words spilled forth, rushed and desperate.

“If they knew you, they wouldn’t say any of the things they do about you.” _ They would never doubt your skills, your strength. They wouldn’t doubt your compassion, despite how you strive to remain detached from it.  _ “You’re not heartless. You’re just a master at being full of shit and pretending that you are.” His voice was raised, so that Erwin could hear him over the sound of rain relentlessly falling and the wind that howled around them. 

The Commander stared down at Levi for a long while, astonishment written across his features. Levi’s words had struck a chord in his chest, and though he was touched, he found himself half-taken with the way the other man was shoved up against the wooden door; his black hair plastered messily to his brow, chest heaving in breathlessness and grey eyes giving him a look that probably would have struck fear into anyone else. He never wanted to say it, didn’t want Levi to think he was being overly-sentimental, but the man looked absolutely gorgeous; almost instantly, Erwin felt the familiar shudder of arousal, paired with the sensation of his pants growing uncomfortably tight. He swallowed thickly, as Levi’s gaze dropped down to his groin, before flicking back up the the Commander’s face.

“Levi.” Erwin breathed, as the Corporal’s fingers slid out of his hair and gripped his chin. The blond was pulled into a brief, closed-mouth kiss that ended too soon when Levi slipped from his embrace and knelt in the wet, muddied grass, cheek pressed to Erwin’s thigh. Erwin furrowed his brow at the action, wanting to tug Levi up from the ground, tell him that they didn’t have to do this here, right now, after all the pain they had endured on the last expedition. He remained silent, however, reaching down to slick Levi’s rain-dampened hair back so that he could see him properly, as Levi set to work unfastening the belt of Erwin’s harness, mouthing the growing bulge through the fabric of the blond’s pants as he did so. Erwin let out a low groan that was quickly drowned out by the crackle of thunder overhead, accompanied by a flash of lightning that illuminated the scene for a split second. 

Feeling his pants go slack at his waist, Erwin leaned forward, bracing himself with his forearms pressed against the wooden frame; The rain was pelting his back, but it made things easier, for not only had lowering his hips provided Levi with a better angle, but his own body acted as a shield from the sky’s onslaught. Levi’s expression softened appreciatively when he glanced back up at Erwin, before he quickly tugged the Commander’s half-hard cock free. Erwin bit his lip, watching with rapt attention as his Corporal took his length in one hand, and began to give long, languid strokes. 

Kneeling against the wet earth, Levi could feel the grit being ground into his uniform pants, muddied water seeping and staining the white--it didn’t matter; his uniform had been far from immaculate from the expedition, and his nerves were buzzing from the thrill of being out in the midst of the storm, Erwin’s cock in his hand and adrenaline searing through his veins like fire. It was the perfect distraction.

Levi cut his gaze up to the blond, eyes locking on the man’s, holding them there in a burning exchange and never once breaking contact at he pressed his lips to the underside of the thick member. He mouthed his way down, feeling Erwin’s hips buck against his hand as he finally drew his tongue from base to tip, before parting his lips and sinking down. As he took Erwin into his mouth, his eyelids fell closed; he relished the taste of his commander’s cock, the way it stretched his lips as he sucked him harder, producing the most obscene, wet noises that he wondered if Erwin could hear over the sounds of the storm. He thought for a moment that perhaps he had, when he felt Erwin’s hand thread through his hair, fingers curling almost painfully against his scalp and causing Levi’s eyes to roll back from the roughness of it. He wanted Erwin to pull harder, to dig his nails in until he bled, but Erwin wouldn’t do that, wouldn’t hurt him, and Levi knew this vicious desire to destroy and be destroyed by Erwin Smith was only an echo; something filthy and visceral that remained from those days when he had hated the man. He pulled away, not bothering to glance back up at Erwin as he pressed his forehead to the Commander’s thigh and caught his breath, hand still working across the slicked length of the his cock. Levi was amused, his lips quirked into a smile. He felt the shake of Erwin’s body, the way his muscles pulled tight  when orgasm was close, and the only thought on Levi mind was how hilarious it was--that at one time he’d wanted nothing more than to slit Erwin’s throat, but now he was here, kneeling in the mud and sucking Erwin’s cock like his life depended on it, while the sky poured down rain in blankets above them. It was dirty and downright shameful, or perhaps it would have been, if it were someone other than Levi.

“Oh fuck.” Erwin breathed, knowing he was close. Levi was torn away from his thoughts, feeling the throb of the man’s length in his hand as he peered up, watching as the Commander buried his face in the crook of his arm, blue eyes only barely open, but staring straight at Levi anyways. The darker haired man licked his lips, took a deep breath, and slid the tip of Erwin’s cock past his lips, swirling and massaging with his tongue. Apparently, he was doing far too well, for the blond’s hips bucked, and Levi was granted a face full. He gagged once, hearing something reminiscent of an apology escape Erwin’s gritted teeth. The Corporal didn’t care too dreadfully much--he was focused only on getting Erwin off quickly, before the others came to look for them, or before his jaw began to ache too terribly. He felt the push and pull of Erwin’s cock in his throat, and although it pushed past what Levi had believed to be his limits, he urged him on. He wanted to feel raw, used, but only for Erwin. He would certainly never crave this particular brand of subjugation from anyone other than Erwin Smith. It was all an act, anyways, as far as their bedroom encounters were concerned. 

Erwin groped at Levi’s shoulder, a warning in case his voice would not carry over the sound of pelting rain. The Corporal heeded it, pulling off just in time to feel the man’s hips spasm beneath his palm, and something warm against his cheek, thick and dripping from his chin. Levi flinched some, as he felt Erwin’s fingers stroking through his hair adoringly. The Corporal cut his grey eyes up once more, meeting with the Commander’s as he swept his finger across the sticky mess on his cheek and brought it to his lips, flicking his tongue out and licking the digit clean. Erwin shuddered at the gesture, having to look away as he tucked himself back in his pants, pulling the soaking wet cloth up properly and fastening his belt. He looked around, less to make sure they had not been seen, and more to distract himself from his Corporal’s lewd displays.

Levi stood up with a smirk, pulling his cravat from around his neck as he did so. He blotted at his cheek, wiping away the sticky fluid, despite the fact that it was already half-washed away by the rain. He held the cravat out, a touch of distaste evident on his features as he surveyed his uniform. His legs were all but stained brown with mud, with a concentration of dirt and grass clinging to his knees. He let out a displeased grunt, when he suddenly felt two warm hands grasp his face on either side. Eyes wide, he didn’t look at Erwin, and only shut his eyes tightly as the Commander pressed his lips to Levi’s forehead. Erwin lingered for a while on Levi’s lips, before trailing down to his now-exposed neck. The soft kisses were too brief, their warmth being washed away by the rain that spilled across his bare skin, leaving only a faint, tingling sensation. Not in a million years could Levi have properly justified  _ why  _ he had kept his eyes screwed shut, his brows pulled tightly together and his lips pressed into a thin line. The only explanation he could offer was that he didn’t want to look at Erwin, too afraid of falling deeper into the toxic romance that had already consumed him. There was no happy ending for them at the end of this, not for them. If they were a story, they weren’t a good one. It would be a sullen tale of two people in a god-forsaken world with nothing but pain and futile attempts at driving it away to mark the path they tread. 

Yet even if it was in vain, Levi still wanted it so badly. 

As they walked back to the headquarters, Levi trailed a half-step behind Erwin, mulling over his thoughts. He was no longer thinking about the mission, or about his squad. Didn’t want to. Levi’s mind was blank, turning over only simple thoughts, now. He was going to shower in Erwin’s quarters tonight, with or without the other man; when Erwin tried to start on the expedition reports to send to the sponsors (which Levi knew he would, Erwin being the efficient man he was), he was going to drag him away, tugging on his collar until Erwin gave up and fucked him hard into the mattress. He’d spread his legs and let Erwin slip inside of him, into  _ warm  _ and  _ tight,  _ until his mind went blank and he became a frantic mess, spilling himself in Levi over and over in more ways than one. He’d never once felt bad for it, giving Erwin a reminder that he was just a human. He’d never felt bad because it was  _ good _ , feeling Erwin pound out his frustrations and his brokenness until Levi was tearing at the sheets and desperately holding in his groans. Levi never thought of it as using--they were past that stage; both had suffered too much from the affair to ever believe that for a moment it was anything less than genuine. No one sacrificed so much of their mental sanity for a desperate fuck after a mission. Their relationship was ill-fated, but it had never been anything but real. 

Nearly the moment that the pair stepped foot in the door, rain dripping from their uniforms and onto the lacquered wooden floors, they were met with a look of surprise from the soldiers sitting outside the sickbay, nursing their wounds and playing a game of cards. A few of them were drunk, judging by the emptied bottles and the thick smell of alcohol that hung in the air like an omen.

“Commander!” One of them cried, shoving the bottles of booze further beneath the chair with the toe of her boot, staring at their drenched uniforms and more specifically, Levi’s mud-splattered appearance. “Corporal, you’re covered in mu-” She began, before Levi crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged.

“I slipped.” His tone was deadpan and his expression steely as he grabbed a relatively clean-looking towel and threw it around his neck, sauntering past and giving one last look over his shoulder. Erwin suppressed a grin as he followed behind the Corporal. There were no questions asked when Levi turned towards the Commander’s quarters. 

They entered together, Erwin still looking to Levi in a way that was almost chiding, begging him not to do this for Erwin’s sake. His blue eyes were pleading, endlessly kind, endlessly loving in a way no one but Levi and God himself would ever see.

Like Levi could read his mind, he narrowed his grey eyes into slits and forced all thoughts of showering from his mind. He pushed Erwin back roughly, relishing in the way the Commander let himself be walked back until he was falling over the sheets, breathing shallowly and staring up at Levi with that same expression. 

Levi stood before him, shucking off his own belts and boots and stepping out of his soiled pants. He moved to Erwin, doing the same to him as the man breathed heavily through his nose, expression falling flat, trying to keep his arousal from rearing its ugly head once more, as if he were ashamed of it. Levi let out a snort through his nose, clicking his tongue as he looked at Erwin. He could see it, eyes brimming with lust, wanting Levi, wanting to touch him, kiss him, fuck him--but for some reason, trying to swallow all those feelings down as if he had no right to feel them. 

Cold fingers slid the first button through the hole at Erwin’s collar.

“You’re a fucking human, you know.” Levi said, his tone acrid and biting. The rest of the buttons followed, Levi moving to straddle Erwin’s hips as he grinded down over him, mouthing his way over the bare skin. Erwin tasted like earth and rain and sweat. “You’re just a man, as disgusting and base as the rest of us, but trying to bear the weight of that god you wish you were on your shoulders.” 

Erwin’s face was blank as he looked at Levi. The words were harsh, but the meaning so painfully raw that he couldn’t help but give just slightly under Levi’s touch, allow himself to be turned from stone back into flesh that was warm from the blood pulsing through his veins. Levi continued, rubbing a palm between Erwin’s legs until he felt him taking interest. He tilted his chin up, staring down at the Commander with an unforgiving glare. 

Hands slid up Levi’s thighs, holding him tightly as he burned over Erwin’s front, the dirt on his knees staining the white linen of the sheets, marking it with imperfection in a way that was so satisfying. Levi tugged him forward roughly, blindly patting down the endtable for the saucer of oil Erwin kept. He pulled it, breaking away for just as much time as it took to pull Erwin’s cock free and slick it up, fist stroking him to hardness. 

Erwin furrowed his brows, gritting his teeth as he felt a warm body slide around him, soft and wet and too real to ignore, too good to not crave with every inch of his weary soul. He took Levi in his arms, rolling them over until Levi was pressed up against the mattress, sinking into it with every deep thrust. 

Grey eyes cut up to blue, Levi staring at Erwin harshly.  

_ You’re just a man. _

And, if only for a fleeting moment that flickered out of existence all too quickly, Erwin was.   

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this AGES ago and never posted it... I slapped a really rushed ending on it and decided to post it because who knows, someone out there might enjoy this. 
> 
> I'm not part of the SNK fandom anymore, and I haven't been keeping up with the manga. There isn't a high chance of me writing for eruri again, but this was once a much beloved ship of mine, and because of recent events in the manga, I decided to post this as my last testament to a series I used to love
> 
> Sorry if some of the flow is weird, especially toward the end. i used to write a lot more poetically and flowery but i've toned it down since then--i tried to match that style, however, with the ending that's newly written.


End file.
